Monday, January 31, 2011

Belarus: Worst Toilet Paper in the World

I cannot express how sincere I am when I tell you: Belarus is the most bizarre place I’ve ever been. I know there’s a big world out there. I have much more to see. But this place is unreal.

If Disney wanted to create a new Epcot attraction – the “Soviet Pavilion” -- they would have the perfect model here.

So much of Belarus seems frozen in a Soviet past. The needless bureaucracy. The layers of rules. The control of society. Right next door, Russia may be trying to move on. No such attempt to be found in this small country.

 Belarus was my first dictatorship. I don’t think I really understood what that meant until my visit. In the course of a week, I was followed by the KGB, met members of an “underground theater group” and watched a peaceful protest turn bloody when the government stepped in to stop it. I came into Belarus by way of Brest, a small city just a couple of miles from the Polish border. It may as well be a million miles away. Travelling to Belarus requires a visa – a complicated one -- for Americans (and lots of other people). But journalists like David have to send all kinds of letters to government offices saying that they’re coming. We found out quickly that announcing ourselves helped the government assign KGB thugs to follow us around.  At first we thought we must be mistaken. But no, men in black went with us to coffee shops, stared at us while we bought toothpaste at the pharmacy and were even kind enough to take the elevator with us at the hotel. Straight out of a spy movie. (A comedy, perhaps, since some of their antics were pretty bumbling).

I had decided to join David on this work trip because I figured, when else would I ever go to this country? And while I’m telling you all of the bad things, I have to stop and make sure to mention that the Belarusans are lovely people. They never litter. The cities are immaculate. Motorists stop for pedestrians. What else could one want? Oh, freedom maybe. The election night protest you might have heard about in the news was inspiring -- before being torn apart. It is obvious that at least some of the population wants something better. At the very least they want a better president. Belarusans have an inspiring history. They are very proud of the fight they put up against the Nazis in the Second World War. Their capital, Minsk, was absolutely leveled during the war, but they rebuilt. They lost a huge percentage of their population -- mainly Jews -- during World War II, but they went on. They have kept their culture even though their borders have changed dozens of times over the years.  They are a country with a difficult and confusing past and an even more complicated future.

I know I complain about Moscow a lot. But after this little adventure I kissed the Russian earth the Tuesday morning before Christmas when I returned from Belarus. I laugh now thinking about how I had planned to do the last of my Christmas shopping in Belarus. Instead I found that there is very little commercial enterprise -- most things are still made and sold by the government, and let’s just say the government is not really into the most current trends. There are the most basic supermarkets -- about the size of your local 7-11 and carrying almost entirely Russian products. It is exactly what I always thought the Soviet Union would have been like. If you are in any way nostalgic for the days of Stalin or just curious about what Russia might have been like during that time just hop on over to Belarus.

To be fair, a lot of the guide books say Belarus is the place to come for Cappuccino Communism - because private enterprise has crept inside, in certain places. For example, Minsk, the capital, has a McDonald's and a TGI Fridays. They also have a couple of coffee shops -- something that was apparently unheard of in the USSR. But the lack of small business is painfully obvious and hotels, restaurants, and cars are incredibly dated. Calling the city sterile and utilitarian is generous. And oh, did I get my brief taste of Soviet ways. At one restaurant I asked for butter with my bread. The server told me such a thing was ‘forbidden.” While butter was in the kitchen for cooking, the server confirmed, it wasn’t listed as an item on the menu. Therefore it could not be purchased. There is no price. It could not be “documented.” Amazing. And the toilet paper! It is really, really horrible and the hotel only gives you more when you ask for it -- which is kind of awkward. Since moving to Russia people always make jokes about whether we can buy enough toilet paper… “is there still a black market for it?” friends ask me. In Moscow, in fact, I can have all the Kleenex Deluxe Super Soft TP I want. Belarus is the real deal. Totally sandpaper. And evidently only on demand.

I had some really interesting moments during my little sojourn. I went with David to a performance of the country’s famous underground theater group. Only government controlled theater is officially legal, so actors in Belarus created the group in 2006 -- it’s called The Belarus Free Theater. To get to a performance you have to venture to the outskirts of Minsk, then you’re brought to a small house through a back door. You find out the performance location via text message shortly before the show. It’s the theater company’s attempt to deter the local KGB from visiting. I sat on the floor with maybe 50 other audience members. The play was a true story about a woman whose husband was killed by government officials in 1999 for supporting an opposition group.Those were the events unfolding on a performance stage.

Two days later, on election night, the husband and wife who run the theater group were arrested on the streets of Minsk.


An unusually big and fabulous hotel room-Brest, Belarus 

Our shower in one lovely Minsk hotel-we only stayed 1 night.


The dining car on our Minsk to Moscow train-it wasn't decorated for the holidays-
it always looks like this....

Waiting for the performance of the Belarus Free Theater


The director of the theater-arrested a few days after I took this photo.

The Minsk holocaust memorial-it is situated in the heart of the old Jewish ghetto, created by the Nazis during WWII-over 2 million Jews lived there at one point.


The lobby Hotel Belarus in Minsk-I do not recommend the place....

WWII Memorial in Brest.

Same memorial-different angle-it's huge!
What started as a peaceful protest....

Very scary riot police.

Riot police blocking the doors to our hotel-at one point no one was allowed to leave.